Give Me 10 Minutes — And You’ll Discover What To Do When People Won’t Change

How often have you wanted to change other people so they’d be better?

Have you ever noticed it’s hard to change habitual behavior?  As a pastor, leader, and life coach, my mission is to help people achieve positive change in behavior: for themselves, their family, and their leadership teams.

Research shows that successful people, who embrace change, have a strong sense of self-determination. Simply put, their mindset says, “I am doing, what I am doing because I choose to, not “I am doing what I am doing because I have to.”

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Since I help people embrace and navigate change, I wrestle with the tension change brings to individuals and organizations. I hear it all the time: “I want to grow. I just don’t want to change.”  How do you respond when people want to grow, but not change?

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit

The Absolute Worst Place to Place Confidence

Self-confidence is one of today’s most popular subjects. Conferences, seminars, workshops, and best selling authors tell us that the key to success is to be self-confident.  Consequently, we’re encouraged to live boldly, think big, and craft BHAG’s (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).

Confidence

Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends.  And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.  Having self-confidence is even finding its way into church life.  How so?  

The Most Important Lesson I Learned From Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In 1954, The Dexter Avenue Baptist Church in Montgomery, AL called Rev. Dr. Martin Luther, Jr. to serve as their pastor. He was just 25 years old.

A year after he arrived in Montgomery, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a public bus, and King led the Montgomery bus boycott to end segregation. His decision to lead the boycott would thrust him into the forefront of the Civil Rights Movement.

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Photo courtesy of the Minnesota Historical Society

Leadership isn’t about having a title. Often, the strongest leaders in an organization, and in life, are those who don’t have official titles. Who gave King permission to make a difference? No one! Why:

You don’t need permission to make a difference. 

King’s most powerful asset was his ability to focus on the task at hand. Focus and determination beat brains and intellect every time. You don’t necessarily have to be smarter or better educated to succeed.

Your power lies in your ability to focus on doing what is important. If you focus on the right things, and work at them often, you will achieve exceptional results.

Again, you don’t need permission to make a difference.

Here’s The Real Reason Why I Am Online?

Honestly, I do not understand why most pastors and church leaders do not leverage technology for the Glory of God. Pastors, church leaders, and faithful church attendees who see social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat, and LinkedIn as evil are missing a great opportunity to reach people far from God.

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Are you sitting?

Here’s something that’ll blow your mind…

Christianity was, in a very real sense, the first technologically driven religion.

Intrigued? Angry? Frustrated?  Read on…

I Am Because of Him | Happy Birthday Frat!

On Christmas Day, I took my family to see Selma.  It was an entertaining movie, but being a Martin Luther King, Jr. fanatic, I did not recognize many of the speeches presented in the movie.  Why?  In 2009, the King Estate licensed his speeches to DreamWorks and Warner Bros. (along with the rights to his life).

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Because King’s speeches are licensed to another project, Selma’s filmmakers had to find a way to re-create the meaning of MLK’s words without plagiarizing.  That means they had to rewrite MLK’s words.  The film skirts close to MLK’s words without using them.

One of the most memorable scenes occurs when Martin Luther King, Jr., while preaching to the congregation, explains why equal voting rights are crucial.  He rallies them to stand up for their rights and sparks a movement that would change the world.

It is unacceptable that they use their power to keep us voiceless. As long as I am unable to use my constitutional right to vote, I do not have command of my own life. I cannot determine my own destiny. For it is determined for me by people who would rather see me suffer than succeed. Those that have gone before us say, ‘no more! No more!’ That means protest. That means march. That means disturb the peace. That means jail. That means risk. And that is hard. We will not wait any longer. Give us the vote. We’re not asking. We’re demanding. Give us the vote!  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Happy Birthday frat!  You stood tall among giants and I am because of you!

6 Reasons Why You Should Make More Mistakes This Year

Most people don’t take into account how many mistakes account for success. For some there is the idea that if you fail it’s the end: The end of the world, the end of the opportunity, the end to your chances for success. In reality the opposite is true. Mistakes are good for you because mistakes provide the biggest opportunity for growth, learning and development.

mistakes Why Mistakes Can Be Good for You

The only complete mistake is the mistake from which we learn nothing.  Jacob Braude

Of all the great scientific breakthroughs, inventions or discoveries, not one of them achieved success on the first attempt. In fact when Thomas Edison was ridiculed for his more than 200 failed attempts to create a light bulb, his response was not full of self-pity or anger. Instead in his defense, he simply stated that he’d learned more than 200 ways of how not to do it. For Thomas Edison every mistake was a learning opportunity.   How many of us could do the same?

There is a tendency when we make mistakes to get mad at ourselves. We tell ourselves that we should have known better, been more careful or thought it through more. But in reality we will never know it all. Making mistakes is simply part of living. The bible tells us that much: “For we know in part……but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” 1 Cor 13:9,10.

So if in this life it is a certain thing that we will never know it all, how can we expect to not make mistakes? Think about that for a minute.

6 Reasons Why Mistakes Can Be Good for You

Most people don’t take into account how many mistakes account for success. For some there is the idea that if you fail it’s the end: The end of the world, the end of the opportunity, the end to your chances for success. In reality the opposite is true. Mistakes are good for you because mistakes give the biggest opportunity for growth, learning and development.

“The only complete mistake is the mistake from which we learn nothing.” – Jacob Braude

Of all the great scientific breakthroughs, inventions or discoveries, not one of them achieved success on the first attempt. In fact when Thomas Edison was ridiculed for his more than 200 failed attempts to create a light bulb, his response was not full of self-pity or anger. Instead in his defense, he simply stated that he’d learned more than 200 ways of how not to do it. For Thomas Edison every mistake was a learning opportunity.   How many of us could do the same? making mistakes

The One Thing You Can Do To Make A Difference

I need your help!

I’m noticing a disturbing trend on my Facebook timeline. It’s filled with negativity, sexually suggested dancing, fistfights, & bizarre/demonic criminal behavior. It appears people are in despair & perhaps have lost hope. Facebook and other social media outlets are the places people gather to mingle and converse. They are today’s wells….the gathering place for people to catch up on what’s happening. If Jesus were here today, he’d log on to Facebook.

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Humbling Leadership Lessons In Change & Transition – Pt. 3

Humility increases our appreciation for God. To respect God’s majesty, we must compare ourself to his greatness. When we look at creation, we often feel small by comparison. To feel small is a healthy way to get back to reality, but God does not want us to dwell on our smallness. Humility means proper respect for God, not self-depreciation.

In 2011 saw some exciting changes at the Mars Hill Baptist Church. But as exciting as that vision of building was, we know now that in the process we left some people behind. There were parts of the process where as leaders we simply dropped the ball. During this three-part series, my purpose was to share three humbling lessons learned. If you missed reading Part 1 and Part 2, you can read them HERE and HERE.

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(Sanctuary Renovation – 2011)

So, what did I learn?

Humbling Leadership Lessons In Change and Transition – Pt. 2

I am surprised and humbled by the overwhelming response to this week’s post, “Humbling Lessons In Change & Transition.”  If you missed it, you can read it HERE.

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 (Sanctuary renovation – 2011)

In 2011, I shared some new and exciting changes at Mars Hill Baptist Church.  But as exciting as that vision of building was, we know now that in the process we left some people behind. There were parts of the process where as leaders we simply dropped the ball.  I believe you can learn a lot from your failures if you’re willing to admit and learn from them.

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(Sanctuary renovation – 2011)

First, I learned  how buildings house memories.  Therefore, it is wise not to erase their significance. Parents have introduced their children to the church and sat Sunday after Sunday in the pews together. Others have said goodbye to loved ones and those last few words in that place were significant.  In addition to learning the significance of buildings, I also learned how change can happen quickly but, transition often follows more slowly.