by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 19, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Excellence, Goals, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
In 2005, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computer gave the Commencement Speech at Stanford University. Hidden in that speech is a powerful quote that resonates.
He said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”.
The idea behind this quote is that, as much as we try to plan our lives ahead in advance, there’s always something that’s completely unpredictable about life that teaches needed lessons. Unfortunately, people wait too long before learning those needed lessons. In today’s post, I’m sharing three of the nine lessons that people learn too late in life.
If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. Let's begin the countdown with the ninth lesson, people will criticize you.
“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future..."
9. People Will Criticize Me, So What?
Regardless of who you are, someone will criticize you. The fear of criticism kills momentum and gets in the way of creating the life that you want. If you're afraid what other people say and think about you, you might as well stay inside and give up now.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract. It’s like that, and that’s the way it is. So, you have to decide who do you want to be. Do you want to live and become your friend, your parents, or somebody else?
Or, do you want to live and create your own life? Remember, don't be afraid of criticism, do the things that you want to do, and live the life that you want to live. Let's continue with the countdown with the eighth lesson, you are responsible for your own happiness.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract.
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8. I Am Responsible For Creating My Own Happiness
Guess what? Happiness is your choice. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that happiness is something that some people have and some don't. But, the truth is, happiness is YOUR choice.
Here are two important truths I’ve discovered about happiness:
- Happiness is not an easy choice.
- It takes a daily work to be happy.
What does progress have to do with happiness? Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness. Unfortunately, many people don't learn this until too late in life. Additionally, they may complain about getting the short end of the stick and choose to remain unhappy.
If you want to experience happiness, you have to take consistent daily action towards choosing happiness. Let's conclude today's countdown with the seventh lesson, be yourself.
Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness.
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“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that.”
7. Be You - Do You
I once heard someone say, “why be a cheap copy when you can be a great original”?
Unfortunately, too many people wait too long to learn this valuable lesson. If you don’t have a firm grip on who you are, you’ll be tempted to borrow and live someone else’s life.
Furthermore, many people (parents, friends, associates, colleagues, etc.) have opinions on who you should be. In fact, they’re willing to offer their unsolicited advice. The sooner you're your own person, the sooner that you're happy with that person. Take Oscar Wilde's advice, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken".
I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned.
”You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 12, 2018 | Empowerment, Decisions, Encouragement, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Success
Have you ever said things like this to yourself:
- “Does everything happen for reason”?
- “Every season has a reason”
- “Trust the process”
- “It just wasn’t meant to be”.
- “Even though I don’t understand everything now, everything happens for reason”.
Isn’t it amazing, but as we age in life, we have this insatiable desire to make sense out of the random things that happen in life?
We want our lives to be like the perfect jigsaw puzzle. A place where everything fits neatly and we can step back and understand how it all works together.
Everyone wants life to make sense.
Every time we experience an event, like a puzzle piece, we know exactly where it goes. Wouldn’t that be great? All of this is fine and dandy until we hit the big bumps in life and the only question we can ask is why? We want to know where do these pieces fit in life’s puzzle… random puzzle pieces like divorce, financial struggles, medical challenges, and friends stabbing you in the back.
We want to believe this wasn’t in the plan and say to ourselves, “I don’t know where this piece of the puzzle fits… It’s random. As a matter fact God, I don’t even like this piece, it’s the wrong color, and it doesn’t go or fit my puzzle.”
When people are going through a difficult season, let’s stop saying: “Well, that’s just how life goes. That’s life. Stuff happens”. It’s in all of us to want to help people make sense out of life’s random puzzle pieces. It’s in us… It’s human nature.
Randomness Draws Us To Jesus
For most of us, this is how we came to know Jesus. We looked at the picture on the box of the puzzle of how our life is supposed to be, and it looks nothing like the picture on the box. We found the edges color matched each piece, and when we received a random piece that didn’t look like a puzzle, it didn’t make sense. It eventually drew us to God.
That’s the beauty of following God. We don’t know with everything fits. We don’t know what he’s up to, so we exercise our faith. That’s what the Christmas story is all about. Got dipping down into humanity and making sense of all of the random puzzle pieces in the life of Mary and Joseph.
The Christmas Story Seems Random
The events of the Christmas story seem kind of random: a decree from Caesar, an engaged virgin, an angelic announcement, wise men giving gifts, and no room at the inn, This doesn’t sound like the story we’d write if we were God. Like Mary and Joseph, some of the circumstances we may be dealing with this year isn’t exactly what we’d write for our own stories either.
Something to Remember
“In the face of life’s seeming randomness, we can take comfort in the fact that God is active in the world. The Christmas story confirms that he is at work in the midst of darkness. As Christmas approaches, remind yourself that nothing just happens and life’s random puzzle pieces are a part of a bigger story”, according to Andy Stanley.
by Clarence Stowers | Jan 16, 2018 | Personal, Current Affairs, Decisions, Empowerment, Goals, Self-Leadership, Success
All of us want the security of having a safe environment not just for us, but for our families as well.
In today’s post, we’re going to be breaking down five ways that are going to ensure you provide a safer life for you and those around you.
1. Befriend Those You Want to Be Like
As Jim Rohn famously said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” This is particularly true when you want to live a certain lifestyle. If you associate with the wrong types of people, they’ll rub off on you. Those people don’t have to be alcoholics and drug abusers. Let’s say you have a friend who arrives perpetually late to things. The more time you spend with that person, the higher the odds that you will start arriving late to things. If you want to be safe, surround yourself with like-minded people.
2. Avoid Alcohol
Alcohol can be dangerous for the user and their family. In fact, alcohol can often end up separating the family more often than bringing them together. As far as safety is concerned, alcohol can impair judgment and responsibility, increasing your chances of making a stupid decision that you’ll regret in the future. In the end, it’s best for you and your family if you just leave alcohol alone.
3. Invest in a Home Security System
This is definitely a significant step! A home security system ensures around-the-clock safety for you and your family. It allows you to know if any burglar is breaking into and entering your home, posing a threat to you and your loved ones. By installing this, an alarm monitoring company will be monitoring your house even when you’re not home. According to ADT, you can even monitor your security from a smartphone or tablet. Overall, your family and your home will have maximum protection from intruders.
4. Schedule Regular Check-Ups with Your Doctor
Regular check-ups to the doctor ensure that you are personally safe from any diseases or illnesses. Also, bring your family too if possible. This guarantees everyone is healthy, which results in a safer and happier household.
5. Invest in Yourself
Further education is always a good idea, especially when it comes to living a safe life. Find out further ways to provide safety and security for your family whether it be finances, relationships, health, happiness, etc.
By focusing on the above five steps, you can guarantee that you and your family live a pretty safe life.
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jan 10, 2018 | Christian, Christianity, Empowerment, Mars Hill Baptist Church, Self-Leadership, Spiritual Growth
When someone decides to detox, they are intentionally removing toxic substances from their bodies.
Our blood tells everything. When we visit the doctor’s office, they draw blood to see if there are any contaminants. We are triune beings (spirit, soul, & body) and like our bodies, toxins get in and contaminate our spirit and soul.
During this message series, we are focusing on detoxing the three different parts of our being: our spirit, our soul, and our body.
We need the detox because all of us allow toxic substances into our lives, whether knowingly or unknowingly. This week we’re detoxing our spirit, which technically doesn’t “need” detox because it is the part of us that is like God.
Our spirit is already clean and righteous. But the enemy still attacks our spirit, especially in our mind – and our mind feeds our spirit. Three things we must starve so that our spirit can thrive are doubt, negativity, and sin.
Today’s Reading: 2 Corinthians 10:1-6; Ephesians 6:10-20
Today’s Question: What are some of the causes of toxic thoughts in your life?
2 Corinthians 10 tells us, the battle against our toxic thoughts is like none other. It is not a physical battle, but rather it is a spiritual battle that requires God’s help in fighting.
by Clarence E. Stowers | Aug 16, 2016 | Encouragement, Book Reviews, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
Depending on who you ask, success looks different and has many definitions.
Although some define it differently, successful people have common trains. According to Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again,
Successful people have certain realizations, or awakenings, that change the course of their lives forever in a positive way. These realizations are essential to a good life and are both scientifically and spiritually backed.
He describes ten of those awakenings in Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again. The first awakening, Never Again Return to What Hasen’t Worked hit me like a ton of bricks.
Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked
Make sure that if you ‘go back’ [to an old relationship, an old job, an old way of thinking] you’re not going back to the same thing . . . Remember there’s a reason it didn’t work. If you’re going back make very, very sure that reason is no longer there. . . Ask these questions: Am I different in some way that would make this work? Is the other person different in some way that would make this work? Is the situation fundamentally different in some way that would make this work? (pp. 17-18).
Everyone makes mistakes, even the most successful people out there. But, what successful people do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.
[shareable cite=”Dr. Henry Cloud”]Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked[/shareable]
I once heard someone say,
A good thing to remember is this: pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, do you agree or disagree?
[shareable]Successful people recognize bad patterns and mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain.[/shareable]
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 14, 2016 | Encouragement, Christian, Christianity, Current Affairs, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
What happens when you combine trust, faith, and hope? They produce grit.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit in the context of behavior is defined as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit.”
In light of the recent deaths of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, and five Dallas Police Officers, I decided to tweak this definition to be the ability to keep going despite setbacks, even when your efforts are not rewarded. Grit is what you need when facing dark days and sleepless nights.
[shareable]Grit is the ability to keep going despite setbacks even when your efforts aren’t rewarded.[/shareable]
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