People who are doing what they choose to do are committed professionals. They proactively apply their talents to make a greater contribution. People who are doing what they have to do are compliant employees. They are putting in time for money.
How much of our lives have been wasted in trying to change the behavior of people who have no interest in changing? What is our return on this investment?
WARNING – THIS IS A CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT…READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK
In my work as pastor, I finally decided to only work with people who care and who are willing to try. You should do the same thing. It is hard to make people change what they don’t choose to change.
Have you ever tried to change the behavior of someone who had absolutely no interest in changing? Have you ever tried to change the behavior of a spouse, partner or significant other who had no interest in changing?
How much luck did you have there? After a few days (or maybe even a few minutes) you can tell if the person whom you are trying to coach is willing to try. If they are willing to try, do whatever you can to help them. If they are not willing to try, either “live with it” (let it go) or find someone else to do the job (let him or her go).
Think of it this way: The time we waste on the people who don’t care is time that is stolen from the people who do care. My guess is that you have little time to waste. You are as busy today as you have ever been in your life.
So, here’s a tip I won’t even charge you for:
Only invest your time where you are going to get a return on your investment. Don’t waste your time on a road to nowhere.
Experience has taught me that successful people are committed. Normally this sense of commitment leads to even more success. Committed people have a drive that comes from the inside, not from the outside. They don’t give up when times are tough. They try even harder.
Great nugget – I love this. It’s a similar principle that I live by, especially when it comes to leading other people. This just gave me an idea for my blog.
-DTW
PS: I bit the bullet – I bought the Blackberry Curve…my darn thumb is almost sore – I’ve been using that thing non-stop playing around. Cool thing is this new tool that lets you make internet calls connecting to any wi-fi zone…and the internet calls you make are free – doesn’t affect your minute usage at all.
Hey man, glad you enjoyed the post & that it provided inspiration for your blog. I will stop by your blog & check it out. So, you finally stepped up big time and got a “real” communication device. Let me warn you – that little thing is addictive – ask your aunt Cheryl & the rest of us who carry a CrackBerry. Enjoy! You’ll discover it’s the perfect communication device.
Pastor Stowers
Thanks for the tip! Additionally, change is constant, and sometimes it’s swift. When dealing with human nature, it’s more gradual. We can deal with people for years before finally getting the drift they are not willing to change. On the flip side, it’s equally important to self evaluate or perform a S.W.O.T. analysis on one’s self. Have I done anything to cause this situation? Do I have changes I need to make as well? Do I have the right motives? As I re-entered the cocoon, these are some of the questions I considered. After the metamorphosis is complete, my only desire is that any applicable change is pleasing to God. Have an awesome day!
Freshman yr in college, my roommate was Black devout Muslim…wore the wrap around her head and prayed to the east. Here I am, born and raised in the Baptist church, sunday school, BTU, NBC, VBS, and recently rededicated to God. I was certain that rooming with her would be a struggle, but as she listened to my Gospel music, I respected her times of prayer by silencing the tv or leaving the room. I often wondered if I was wrong for not witnessing to her about Christ. But she was so strong in her faith, I never bothered. I just prayed that my walk with Christ shined as bright as her faith in…in…allah?
Que. P.
Thanks for sharing – sometimes we believe that WE change people. However, we must remember that ONLY GOD can change people. I grew up as a PK (Pastor’s/Preacher’s Kid) and attended the same events you listed. When I attended Jackson State, I ran across Muslims, Buddhists, gays & lesbians, and crazy people who were strong in their “beliefs” too. However, as I engaged in conversation, I found out ALL had attended church and were hurt in the process. Additionally, they never found a way to process their pain and equated “church pain” with “God abandoned me.” When God permits an opportunity for you to minister again, ask, “have you ever attended church?” If so, “why did you leave?” If I were a betting man, I’d bet they were hurt and found a group to show them love. Share w/them how God uses pain to get our attention and to make us like Him. These are good questions to probe deeper as to why the decided to leave the church.
Telisha, great post & you must go to Mars Hill using terms like S.W.O.T. 😀
BTW, great questions for self reflection!