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 5. ASSUMING THINGS ARE EITHER BLACK OR WHITE. 

According to Wikipedia, ”a grey area is a term for a border in-between two or more things that is unclearly defined, a border that is hard to define or even impossible to define, or a definition where the distinction border tends to move.”

Wow, that’s a mouthful isn’t it!

I often say when I’m preaching, “let me give you the Stowers translation:”  A grey area is a subject or problem that people do not know how to deal with because there are no clear rules. 

Yea, I like that definition!!!

For those involved ministry, experience has taught us that grey areas exist!  Following rules is easier than the messiness of relationships.  Following rules is easier than discerning God’s will. The policies or guidelines we establish should actually remove barriers and allow more freedom within our organizations.

Moreover, innovative organizations don’t value the rules over relationships, they don’t value rules over people, and they don’t value rules over the mission.  As we seek to minister to God’s people, remember black and white are not the only colors in the box.

What do you do when you encounter a grey area? 

6. NOT FOLLOWING THE LEADING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. 

The Spirit’s presence within us enables us to understand and interpret the Word.  Jesus told His disciples “when He, the Spirit of Truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth” (John 16:13). 

He reveals to our minds the whole counsel of God as it relates to worship, doctrine, and Christian living.  He is the ultimate guide, going before, leading the way, removing obstructions, opening the understanding, and making all things plain and clear. He leads in the way we should go in all spiritual things.  Without such a guide, we would be apt to fall into error. 

Sometimes when I’m facing a big decision, I try to acquire more information rather than seek God’s direction.  Here’s a fundamental principle to ponder: When we stop listening to God, He stops talking to us.  God stopped talking to Abraham for 13 years between the last verse of Genesis 16 and the first chapter of 17.  Sometimes, God requires us to take a step, in faith, before he reveals his plan.  Check out Joshua 3.

What happened in your life when you decided to yield to the Holy Spirit?

7. DWELLING ON THE “WORST CASE” SCENARIO. 

As one who recognizes the validity and importance of spiritual gifts, one of my dominate gifts is discernment.  

It can be a positive gift when God’s in control of my life.  However, when I try to take control, discernment can lead me towards sin.  The sin I’m referring to is called worry or anxiety.  I’ve wasted way too much time worrying about challenges or problems that never happened.  It has been said that “85% of what we worry about never happens.”  Man, with odds like these who can loose.  Personally, this is an area of vulnerability.  What’s yours?

Do you dwell on the “worst case scenario?” 

8.  WAITING UNTIL THERE IS A PROBLEM TO PROVIDE FEEDBACK. 

As a pastor, I understand the importance of encouraging others.  It empowers others to reach their fullest potential. 

Furthermore, it motivates them to want to go the extra mile.  Because I can fall victim to the tyranny of the urgent, sometimes I’m encouragement-challenged.  Moreover, since I am results oriented, my tendency is to only speak up when expectations aren’t met.  Experience has taught me that this can create a culture of fear. I need to discipline myself to encourage my staff, leaders, and members more.  As Tom Peters has said, “Reward excellent failures. Punish mediocre successes.”

Have you encouraged someone today?

9. STAYING TOO BUSY. 

I’ve too often made the mistake of assuming that since I’m busy I’m adding value.  

It’s very possible to be constantly busy and be completely ineffective.  By the way, email can be the biggest trap of all.  If I wanted to, I could spend every hour of every day processing email and getting absolutely nothing accomplished. 

It has been said, “never mistake motion for progress.”  Throughout the day we must stop and ourselves, “is what I’m doing adding value to others or helping me reach my destiny?”  If so, keep doing what you’re doing.  If not…well, you know what to do.

How do you know when you’re too busy?

Leadership Guru, John Maxwell is known for saying: “Everything rises & falls on leadership.”  Even though I’ve been in various leadership roles for about 25 years now, I’m still learning what it takes to be a good leader.  Because of that, I feel awkward trying to tell other leaders how to lead because I’m still trying to figure it out myself.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to take a different spin with this post. With the help of some friends, I’ve compiled a list of the “10 Dumbest Leadership Mistakes I’ve Made.”

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I have the privilege to serve with an incredible staff…a fired up group of people who love their church and have a “by any means necessary” mentality towards ministry.

However, in my ministry experience, both in the life of Mars Hill, working with other churches and conversations with many pastors and leaders I believe there are five phrases that we should NEVER hear from someone on staff.

#1 - “THAT’S NOT MY JOB.”

When a staff member is asked to do something and they reply, “That’s not my job,” then you can be assured that he/she does not have a heart that is fully devoted to the ministry.

The staff we have here at Mars Hill walk around with fire in their eyes…and when asked to do something they just make it happen.  Now…I have seen this abused & do not think ANYONE should allow themselves to be ran over; however, when asked to do something that might not serve the person BUT WILL SERVE THE CHURCH…the answer should always be yes.

#2 - “THAT CAN’T BE DONE.”

I have noticed something about staff members that say something cannot be done…USUALLY the ones who say that are the ones who are going to be asked to do the particular project they are freaking out about…and it will require tons of work…SO, they just say it can’t be done.  I have a confession to make…I don’t like hearing “it can’t be done.”  

Here’s the kind of attitude I like: 

Someone who’s realistic with me and says, “Now we CAN do that…but it will require such and such and we don’t have that–and if we want it then it is going to cost this…so what do you want to do?” I LOVE THIS ATTITUDE!  

Trust me, when a staff member continually says that something cannot be done they either have a lazy work ethic OR a very small view of who God is…neither are beneficial for your team.

#3 - “ALL I NEED IS MORE STAFF & MONEY TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.”

When people begin to use resources as an excuse for a stagnant or failing ministry then you can be sure they are in trouble and have most likely became spoiled, thus forgetting the art of being innovative.

#4 - “RECOGNIZE ME!”

Beware of the staff member who is always telling you how much work they did, how many hours they put in and how tired they are.

HOLD ON

…as a leader it is our job to make sure that staff members are not sacrificed on the alter of ministry. We should pay them well and make sure they have adequate time off.  BUT…when someone is always demanding attention for the work they’ve done then you can be sure that either pride or insecurity is coming out…and neither are good!

#5 - “MY MINISTRY NEEDS “BLANK” AND IF WE DON’T GET IT THEN…”

When a staff member begins to focus on his/her ministry more than the church as a whole…trust me, you have a HUGE problem.  A good staff member does have passion and vision for their particular area of ministry; however, they have an even greater passion for the church as a whole and will gladly lay aside their plans if it means that it is best for the church.

The church will either operate as a loosely organized group of sub ministries…OR ONE BODY with many parts…and if a staff member cannot be a part of the body then they most likely do not have a kingdom mindset.

Did I miss anything?  What statements would you add to this list?

This is what author Jim Collins refers to as “The Stockdale Paradox.” In his book, Good to Great, he tells the story of Admiral James Stockdale, who was a prisoner of war for eight years during the Vietnam War.

After his release, a reporter asked Admiral Stockdale, “How in the world did you survive eight years in a prisoner of war camp?”

He replied,

I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that we would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event in my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.

The reporter then asked, “Who didn’t make it out?” Admiral Stockdale replied,

Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. They were the ones who said, “We’re going to be out by Christmas.” And Christmas would come and go. Then they’d say, “We’re going to be out by Easter.” And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”

Collins then goes onto state that an attribute of truly great companies and great leaders is that they are able to embrace simultaneously these twin truths of their current reality and their ultimate triumph.

Questions: Are you embracing the Stockdale Paradox in your leadership? If so, how?

Ed Stetzer recently compiled a list of 48 questions to ask yourself for honing your personal accountability.  Unfortunately, each year we hear of preachers, politicians, and athletes who compromise their integrity and make life-ruining mistakes. Sadly, many of those mistakes could have been avoided with the right accountability systems in place.

For all 48 questions, you will need to check out Ed Stetzer’s original post. Here are my top 15 personal favorites:

1. Have I spent adequate time in Bible study and prayer?
2. Did the Bible live in me today?
3. Am I enjoying prayer?
4. Have I given priority time to my family?
5. How do I spend my spare time?
6. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
7. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
8. Have I been with a woman anywhere this past week that might be seen as compromising?
9. Have I been exposed to sexually alluring material or allowed my mind to entertain inappropriate thoughts about someone who is not my spouse this week?
10. Have any of my financial dealings lacked integrity?
11. Have I secretly wished for another’s misfortune so that I might excel?
12. Have I damaged another person by my words, either behind their back or face-to-face?
13. Is there anything that has dampened my zeal for Christ?
14. Is Christ real to me?
15. Have I been completely honest with myself?

What are some of your accountability questions?

I often hear pastors and church leaders say: “Leading a church would be great if it weren’t for church people.”  That may or may not be true, but, there is no such thing as leadership void of people.  The challenge most church leaders face is that we’re pulled in so many directions by so many people and since we’re human, we’re bound to disappoint someone.

Here’s a truth that will keep you sane as a spiritual leader:

We have responsibility to people,
not for people.

Mark Waltz, in his book Lasting Impressions, does a nice job describing the difference:

1. When I’m responsible to people, I understand they have a choice. When I’m responsible for people, I think I should decide for them.
2. When I’m responsible to people, I know they must figure out their next step. When I’m responsible for people, I try to tell them what their next step is.
3. When I’m responsible to people, I allow them to bear the brunt of the consequences for their own chosen actions. When I’m responsible for people, I assume the guilt, or worse the shame, for them.
4. When I’m responsible to people, I engage in their journey, offering encouragement and teaching. When I’m responsible for people I try to direct their journey, never allowing them to wrestle, mess up or make a wrong turn.
5. When I’m responsible to people, I talk to God on their behalf. When I’m responsible for people, I talk to people a lot on God’s behalf.

One of the most basic boundaries we can maintain is our skin. I am responsible for everything inside my skin. You are responsible for everything inside your skin. It is a fundamental demarcation between “me” and “you.” Sometimes pastors feel like they have to have all the answers, solve all the problems and make everything right…for everyone. If you fall into this category, my heart goes out to you today.  It is a very frustrating thing to feel responsible for the thoughts and actions of other people. It is quite liberating to know that I only have a responsibility to other people - to love them, to be honest with them, to be a friend and support. What’s going on inside them is “all theirs.”