Urban Pastor LIVE!

My late father, Dr. Clarence E. Stowers Sr., would always tell me, “Son, find a story and tell it well.”  I didn’t quite understand then, but I do today!  To steal one of the ancient slogans in advertising, “your brand is the truth about you, well told.”  This year many resolved to make lasting changes and become the best version of themselves.  I call it Version 2.0 – The me God wants me to be. 

In order to upgrade to Version 2.0, I encourage you to spend time pondering the following questions:

So Who Are You?

Like every organization, every person has a dozen good stories that reveal that person.  Stories move people. Stories excite people. Stories change people.  Your task is to write your story – the true story.  Ask for input from someone who knows you well; someone who can give you perspective.  Start there.  Get help, if necessary, but do it TODAY!

What Do You Do?

Most banks (Pre-Mortgage Crisis Meltdown) almost always ask this question of organizations that come to them for money.  It’s a simple question, but the answers often are not.  You must answer simply, too.  Otherwise you will confuse people.  If it sounds like you do many things, or too many seemingly unrelated things, people will assume you cannot do any of them well.  Here’s an assignment: Ask and answer “What do you do?”  Show it to four people whose opinion you value and ask them:

1. Is it clear?
2. Is it simple?

What Difference You Are Making?

Can you describe what difference you are making in three sentences or less?  Are you ready for this challenge?  Marketers often refer to the necessity of defining one’s “point of difference.”  You must not merely answer what makes you different, but how what you do makes a difference for others.  Ask and answer “What difference am I making?”  Show it to four people whose opinion you value and demand they be ruthlessly tough with their answers.

There are other questions, too; I doubt this list is exhaustive.  But I think I have covered the major ones.

Question: What other life-changing questions do you currently ask?

This is what author Jim Collins refers to as “The Stockdale Paradox.” In his book, Good to Great, he tells the story of Admiral James Stockdale, who was a prisoner of war for eight years during the Vietnam War.

After his release, a reporter asked Admiral Stockdale, “How in the world did you survive eight years in a prisoner of war camp?”

He replied,

I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that we would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event in my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.

The reporter then asked, “Who didn’t make it out?” Admiral Stockdale replied,

Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. They were the ones who said, “We’re going to be out by Christmas.” And Christmas would come and go. Then they’d say, “We’re going to be out by Easter.” And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”

Collins then goes onto state that an attribute of truly great companies and great leaders is that they are able to embrace simultaneously these twin truths of their current reality and their ultimate triumph.

Questions: Are you embracing the Stockdale Paradox in your leadership? If so, how?

Golf is an EXPENSIVE sport!  Honestly, I’m not the greatest fan of golf.  I only like a few aspects of the game and lugging a heavy bag of clubs around a lawn looking for a tiny ball and hole to put it in all day isn’t one of them.  Honestly, the best parts of the game are driving the ball, putting and driving around in the golf cart.

All three of these skills can better be implemented in any reputable driving range/putt-putt/go-cart facility without having to walk around aimlessly all afternoon (Here’s a million-dollar idea – anyone want to partner with me on this).  If you want to master golf, there’s a steep price you must pay mentally, physically, and financially.  The same could be said for those who aspire to be great leaders.

Can you drink of the cup that I drink of… (Mark 10:38)

No one should aspire to lead God’s work if they are not prepared to pay a price greater than his contemporaries and colleagues are willing to pay.  True leadership always exacts a heavy toll on the leader and the more effective their leadership is, the higher the price to be paid.  The cost of every great achievement is not paid in a lump.  It is bought on a payment plan, with installments paid daily.

Greatest Installment: Loneliness

From its very nature, the lot of the leader must be a lonely one.  They must always be ahead of their followers.  Human nature craves company, and it is only natural to wish to share with others the heavy burdens of responsibility and care.  It’s often heartbreaking to have to make important decisions, which affect the lives of others alone.  This is one of the heaviest prices to pay, but it must be paid.

Moses paid this price for his leadership – alone on the mountain…alone in the plain…alone when criticized.  The socially conscious Apostle Paul (He would’ve loved Facebook & Twitter) was a lonely man who experienced the bitterness of being misunderstood by his contemporaries, misrepresentation by his enemies, and desertion by his friends.

“Most of the world’s great souls have been lonely,” wrote A.W. Tozer.  Leaders must be people who, while welcoming the friendship and support of all who can offer it, has sufficient inner resources to stand alone, even in the face of fierce opposition.

As a leader, how do you deal with loneliness?