Urban Pastor LIVE!

I am a voracious reader.  In fact, I love to read and I never pass up an opportunity to visit bookstores. I will literally sit for hours, scan book & magazines, and fill my Moleskine notebook with pertinent information.  This week I invite you to join me and take a peek in my notebook and see my thoughts.

As promised, every Friday I’ve decided to share my “Top 5.”  I’ve thought a lot about success and what it takes to be successful.  Since success is hard to conceptualize and is subjective, I’ve discovered there are similar costs most are willing to pay in order to be successful.

Here’s what’s swirling around in my mind this week:

1. You can’t be CHEAP and successful at the same time.  College costs money.  Books cost money.  Conferences & Seminars cost money.  Putting yourself in a position to be stretched and grow cost money.  One of the qualities that I’ve always noticed in successful people is that they were personally willing to pay a financial price.
2. You can’t be LAZY and successful at the same time.  You must be willing to put “some skin in the game.  This means you get your butt out of bed and make it happen!  Also, remember that rest is essential because success is a LONG journey.
3. You must be mentally strong.  Your success journey will be one of the most emotionally draining things you will EVER do.  You will discover that you can go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows with one email or phone call.  Your heart and motives will be called into question.  Critics will attack.  Haters will hate (that’s what they do).
4. You must devise a plan to combat spiritual warfare.  The enemy IS NOT happy about what you’re trying to accomplish.  His strategy is to kill, steal, and destroy.  He attempts to kill the dream in the beginning…before the seed takes root.  The more successful you become the greater the intensity of spiritual attack on your life.
5. You will bear scars.  Jesus asked His followers to count up the cost before they decided to follow Him.  Why?  Those who God uses greatly, He scars them deeply.  Behind every successful person are scars they’ve accumulated along the journey.  Success will cost you something!

Questions:

Are you ready for the journey?

Have you considered the costs?

For better or worse, leaders put themselves out there, on display, for the entire world to see.  Whether you’re a pastor, ministry leader, business owner, entrepreneur, supervisor, or hold no titles, at some point in your professional career, you’re going to be criticized. 

Recently, God’s overwhelming presence cut into my sermon time and I didn’t preach a full message.  Boy, did the critics come out.  They criticized me for using the Holy Spirit’s visitation for not wanting to preach.  OUCH!

Criticism, even to the most seasoned professionals, is still a difficult pill to swallow and one that doesn’t go down easily or sit well with many of us. When someone publicly (or privately) criticizes you, take a deep breath and follow these guidelines:

1. Ask: Is this constructive or destructive criticism? Constructive criticism is probably based, at least in part, on some truths. Through constructive criticism we have the opportunity to learn and improve from their suggestions.  On the other hand, destructive criticism is down right nasty, hurtful, and offensive.  Cowards usually prefer this method and you’ll immediately know the difference between the two.
2. Don’t Take It Personally. One of the first things that seems to always happen upon receiving criticism is that the person to whom the criticism is directed takes it as a personal attack. Granted, there are some people out there who take pleasure in bringing people down.  However, there is a distinction between constructive criticism and vicious condemnation. Learn to decipher the distinction and the first step to do that is to not take what is said personally.  Easier said than done, I know…but it’s essential.
3. Keep The Vision Before You At All Times. Criticism directed at you can easily break your momentum.  An hour ago you were confident and in full pursuit of your vision.  Suddenly, you’re filled with doubt. As a leader, you already realize how important it is to ride the wave.  Don’t let an anonymous coward (most who criticize rarely do it to your face) break your stride and distract you from your vision. Like an army ant, keep moving forward!
4. Just Walk Away. When you get called out for making a mistake or are challenged, it might be your instinct to stand up for yourself and come out swinging.  It’s important not to react right away.  Fight the urge to respond.  Go for a short walk, grab a cup of coffee or move on to another project.  Keep in mind that if you are nasty or condescending in your response, you can expect others to do likewise. This can lead to a war of words that benefits no one.
5. Keep Smiling.  Haters hate.  That’s who they are and were created to do.  Smiling, even a false smile, can helps us to relax more. It creates a more positive vibration and smoothes the situation. It will definitely help psychologically.  Smiling will motivate the other person to moderate their approach.

Question:  How do you handle critics?  What would you like to add?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  

Thanksgiving Day has evolved over the years as an important holiday. It is not just about feasting and shopping. It is about showing one’s gratitude for the blessings that we are showered with. 

What is Black Friday you might ask, It’s the day after thanksgiving, the kick off of the holiday shopping season, a day you will find great deals, and lots of people.  If you have never done a black Friday before you will need to have a plan in place.  You can’t control your job, investments or home value, however, you can control how you spend.

Therefore, before you hit the stores (you may already be out there by the time you read this), ask yourself the following questions:

Do I really need this? There’s a big difference between needs and wants.  How to differentiate?  Well, if you can’t afford to live without something, if it’s a means to helping you function in society, it’s a need. If you can shrug it off, it’s a want.  If you don’t need it, don’t buy it!

Ask: If I buy this will it make my family better, smarter, or more prepared?

Can I even afford it? The old-school rule is true:  If you can’t pay cash or pay your credit card off at the end of the month, YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT!

Ask: Can I pay the entire amount in cash?

Do I have an emergency fund established? In life you should expect the unexpected, and this is why you need an emergency fund. Financial emergencies can come in the form of a job loss, significant medical expenses, home or auto repairs or something you’ve never dreamed of. The last thing you want to do is be forced to rely on credit cards or a loan which could simply compound the problem.  Most experts agree that you should keep between three and six months worth of your living expenses set aside in your emergency fund (3-6 months living expenses).

Do I have at least $2,500 in my emergency fund?

Am I using God’s tithe to shop? SELF-EXPLANATORY…No need to elaborate on this!

Have you given your 1st 10 percent to God?

Is it really worth the hassle? Thanksgiving means many things to different people but for most people, the holiday of Thanksgiving is synonymous with festive meals, parades, football, family and friends, and, of course, turkey. For many, it’s also about spending time together, catching up and enjoying one another’s company.

Relax & enjoy your family and friends!