There are SIX IMPORTANT areas that pull on my time.
- I want to spend time with my wife.
- I want to spend quantity time with my kids at a very important time in their life.
- I want to lead our staff well and do my job with integrity.
- I want to learn from other church leaders (conferences, visit other churches)
- I want to resource other church leaders (teach).
- I want to write.
All of these areas are great.
All of them are important. And there is a dynamic tension which exists in trying to juggle all of these priorities. I’ve seen leaders mess up.
- Some sacrifice their marriage for their job.
- Some sacrifice their kids.
- Some leaders get on the teaching circuit and stop learning. They spend all their travel time teaching and no longer take time to sit at someone else’s feet and learn.
I want to avoid all these extremes and today, things change. I’ve decided to spend no more than 30 nights away from my wife in 2008. Oh, you should know I realize the 30 night rule is not in the Bible. It’s just what is right for me and my family right now. Others may draw the line at a different place. I don’t think the number is the point–the fact that you give it some thought and get some input is important.
Where do you draw the line?
Yea – so I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. (Are you in my thoughts)
There’s so much I want to accomplish. Like Walter Lee in A Raisin in the Sun – there’s so much I want and it’s driving me kinda crazy.
Right now I’m balancing school and work. I have other ministry obligations that I have to limit because of my availibility. As well, I have health goals I’m working on and some business ventures. Luckily I have no kids or wife, but in terms of where I draw the line, I think the same principles apply.
Work, school, and health are the important factors right now. It’s unfortunate, cuz there’s not much time for anything else…well, not until graduation.
Like Darius,
I’m a young person who endeavors to do many things. My ultimate goal is to be the “total package”: Spiritually, physically, mentally, financially and educationally…now this is indeed hard work, so I asked myself “where do you start”? I’m approaching 30 years of age, and there are many things I’ve accomplished in my 20’s. However, I do not want to be stagnant and settle, but move to the next level in my life. I want to be a mature and wise woman with integrity, therefore, I’ve drawn the line by eliminating pettiness, non sense and “el toro poo poo” as much as possible…even if it means cutting a few folks off. I have a low tolerance and my patience needs some work (I can admit that), so I’m learning that cutting folks entirely off may not be the best remedy, but I’m still trying to figure out a way to maneuver around them with least tension as possible…when you’re a realist, that’s difficult to do.
Darius,
Great post! I guess great minds think alike!
Let me caution you not to cut serving in ministry short. I know you have goals and endeavor to make the most of the time God gave you, however, when we serve we allow God to use us to minister to those who are hurting. Remember, we we fail to use our gifts, others are robbed…
Telisha,
You go girl – the “total package” huh…trust me, you’re not too far off. From where I sit, you’re miles ahead of a lot of people I know.
Additionally, you’re wise beyond your years. I’m glad you’re conscious of your lack of patience. Trust me, it comes with time & experience. Don’t cut people off too soon. I’ve learned it takes some people longer to develop than others…
Great question. I wish I knew the answer. I am currently juggling a very demanding full-time job, a part-time masters degree prog, and what often time seems like full-time time ministry (choir, praise team, young adult coordinator, dance coordinator, and I try to get to Sunday School and Bible study). In addition, because my current job is not in my field of study, I have dedicated my spare time to personal career development by volunteering my services to my church, our district association, and our state and national conventions. In recent months, I’ve encountered overwhelming feelings that I fear will lead to extreme fatigue and/or burnout. However, the only thing that I would be willing to give up (my job) is my only consistent source of income (gotta pay rent, car note, insurace, etc). I refuse to stop my career developement. Even if I tried, I don’t think I could because that’s where my passion lies. And cutting back on my ministry is out of the question. But where do I draw the line?
Que P.,
Wow, I admire you – it’s evident that your are great at multi-tasking!
I view your situation as one who spins plates. I always admired those people. I would sit in awe and wonder when will they drop the plates. Eventually, a plate would drop and thereafter, all would eventually fall. That’s how I see your situation.
I take it you’re young and have the bandwidth to handle multiple tasks. However, one day you’ll tire and drop a plate or two. Furthermore, I would like to offer a few suggestions that may help your situation:
1. Let the FT Job serve as a means to an end…let it continue to support what you do while you continue your personal development.
2. Regarding Grad School…is it in line w/your personal development? Does your job provide tuition reimbursement? If you answer “yes,” continue.
3. Now the hard part – CHURCH LIFE…I would suggest picking one area you are extremely gifted and passionate about and give leadership to that one area. Next, choose leaders and develop them to take over the other ministry areas. Also, prepare a suggested timeline so you can transition out while they transition in. I would advise doing the same for your convention work.
When you’ve finished your analysis, write a summary of what you’ll engage in. It’ll look something like this:
Que P will continue to work because she understands this job serves as a means to an end. It pays the bills and supports my interests. Furthermore, she will continue developing her personal interests by giving leadership to the praise team (whatever area you decide) at her church and (whatever you choose) on the state, district, and convention level. Que P will train and develop other leaders to assume leadership responsibilities at her church in other areas within six months (you choose the date). She will follow up with these new leaders and resist the urge to assume leadership of those areas.
You kinda get the picture…
Spinning plates. Wow. Never thought of it that way.
Yes I am young (age 25), with no significant other and no children of my own. So I do have the bandwith to handle mutliple tasks.
Regarding Grad School…Yes, it is in line w/my personal development, but it is NOT in line with my current FT position. Thus they will NOT offer tuition assistance.
The degree that I’m currently pursuing is in hospitality and tourism management. So my graphic designing, meeting/event planning, and the work I do for the distrist, state and national conventions, are all a part of my career development. This is where my passion lies, but I have an even greater passion for Christ and His church. For these two worlds to overlap would be heaven on earth, and that ultimately is my goal, but first I must step back and draw a line. Thanks for the suggestions.
I haven’t done a great job of drawing the line, but recently I’ve realized that I must start sooner rather than later. I’m always busy helping others, working, and doing ministry work. Sometimes I’m on the go so much that when I try to rest my mind is still running in over drive. Although, I’m single, I hardly spend quality time with myself. To make matters worse I haven’t done a great job of spending quality time with God lately. Recently, God spoke a word to me that was clear as glass…”Take some time to make some time for yourself!”
I know that if I make that time for myself I’ll get some piece of mind, hear from God, and probably write like never before. Last May I was supposed to take myself to a nice hotel and dinner for my birthday, but I didn’t. You know what….I’m going to make that happen this year!
I guess that’s a start to drawing the line. What do you think?